I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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