he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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