so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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