which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
