I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
