her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
