so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
