Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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