Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
