i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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