I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize