the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
