I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
