I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
