She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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