i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
