i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
