This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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