tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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