Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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