it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
