My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
