If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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