I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
