Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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