How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
At least make sure they are 18
Why
one might say we're banned from that church
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
