Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
