In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
