This girl is more easily done than said...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
