I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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