I'm jealous of your bromance
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
