one two three fourrrrnication!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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