he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You're like the curious george of whores
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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