if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Jerry, you need to find god
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
