Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
