question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
