Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
