I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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