he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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