Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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