Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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