i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize