so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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