She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
