I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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