Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
