just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
