Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
