i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
