Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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