BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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