Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the day after is always just damage control
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
