well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she looked like the before picture.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My dick has a subreddit
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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