before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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