Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water

  (425): View more from Washington

  Legs for days

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  Harpoon that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water (425): Legs for days (1-425): Harpoon that http://tfl.nu/z0dx
  Replies (2) Good night (2051) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  he asked me to smell his eyeballs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): he asked me to smell his eyeballs. http://tfl.nu/b2rr
  Replies (20) Good night (1110) Bad night (5197)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/v7b4
  Replies (16) Good night (1633) Bad night (7532)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote http://tfl.nu/ew61
  Replies (4) Good night (1585) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen

  (845): View more from New York

  That would be so convenient

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen (845): That would be so convenient http://tfl.nu/c28s
  Replies (12) Good night (3158) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library. http://tfl.nu/9n29
  Replies (12) Good night (1069) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie. http://tfl.nu/erv7
  Replies (1) Good night (709) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her. http://tfl.nu/t8u7
  Replies (0) Good night (609) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland. (1-512): I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies. http://tfl.nu/m9ig
  Replies (5) Good night (1154) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (418): View more from Quebec

  Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (418): Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me? http://tfl.nu/ltm0
  Replies (4) Good night (508) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life http://tfl.nu/dl7i
  Replies (1) Good night (921) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me http://tfl.nu/2azp
  Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT. http://tfl.nu/yda3
  Replies (3) Good night (552) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing. http://tfl.nu/0pwv
  Replies (4) Good night (781) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting. http://tfl.nu/ebs4
  Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (127)

Randomize