I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
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