I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.