GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
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found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
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It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The air taste purple.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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