Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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