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dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
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