Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.

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(651): how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night. http://tfl.nu/2trw

Replies (47) Good night (8555) Bad night (831)
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(512): View more from Texas

everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf

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(512): everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf http://tfl.nu/ndyg

Replies (26) Good night (822) Bad night (5356)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker

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(617): I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker http://tfl.nu/yzaq

Replies (25) Good night (6432) Bad night (923)
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(636): View more from Missouri

there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter

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(636): there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter http://tfl.nu/6rqt

Replies (3) Good night (2444) Bad night (972)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Fear?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

FEAR.

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(617): Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear. (781): Fear? (617): FEAR. http://tfl.nu/5mzi

Replies (5) Good night (2828) Bad night (803)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.

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(+44): Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go. http://tfl.nu/hus5

Replies (10) Good night (2258) Bad night (656)
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(770): View more from Georgia

All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.

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(770): All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all. http://tfl.nu/00r4

Replies (13) Good night (3064) Bad night (694)
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(602): View more from Arizona

The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast

(480): View more from Arizona

I'm so there

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(602): The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast (480): I'm so there http://tfl.nu/rimu

Replies (1) Good night (887) Bad night (274)
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(917): View more from New York City

I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food

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(917): I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food http://tfl.nu/2i31

Replies (4) Good night (351) Bad night (492)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?

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(320): So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing? http://tfl.nu/5f4v

Replies (3) Good night (366) Bad night (240)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together

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(724): I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together http://tfl.nu/fgbj

Replies (0) Good night (489) Bad night (206)
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(804): View more from Virginia

for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.

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(804): for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner. http://tfl.nu/3gkb

Replies (0) Good night (223) Bad night (473)
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(205): View more from Alabama

We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.

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(205): We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/2hud

Replies (3) Good night (621) Bad night (273)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game

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(203): You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game http://tfl.nu/wvii

Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (495)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'

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(902): they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway' http://tfl.nu/m8pz

Replies (5) Good night (476) Bad night (145)

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