I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
