Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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