I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
