It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
