I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
