i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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