If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
